** teaching gym **

As some of you know, this year my brother's grade school could not afford a gym teacher. I went in and volunteered to be the teacher for grades k-8. I have never taught gym before nor have I taken any classes to do so.  As a volunteer they weren't complaining.  I get a free lunch and I get to spend time with my brother and about 10 cousins.  I enjoy my time there for the most part.  I do struggle with getting the kids to pay attention to me though.  I still haven't figured it out completely, but it seems to be getting better with time.  I knew so many of these kids before I started teaching that I think they thought I was more of a friend than a teacher.  I do want them to know that I am there for them, but I can't be walked all over.

In October I kept 4 kids (3rd graders) after class to discuss there inappropriate behavior.  They didn't participate like they should in regular activities.  Two of them were singing and not participating in yoga.  Which I had chose to end gym classes with, I had a teacher ask me to do so.  Because she knows that is what I want to do with my life and it will calm the kids down to go back to class, instead of them being all riled up.  The kids that I kept were late back to class, the teacher asked them why and she sent them to the office.  The principal came down and talked to me and informed me that they would all be getting detentions.

Well my family is close to 3 of the kids' families and one of them is my boss's daughter.  I was scared of how they would all respond.  My boss's wife has barely acknowledged me at all since then.  Another parent came in and complained that yoga is a form of Hinduism and he didn't want his child participating in it.  I had NEVER taught the religous aspect of yoga and never intended to do so.  The principal informed me and said that the parent had brought in a list of other 'stretches' I could use that were not yoga.  Well she is a yogi herself and she told me over 3/4 of them were yoga poses.  She suggested I continue on and just not call it yoga.  For a while I completely cut it out of my lesson plan, I was pissed off.

I am almost positive of who it was and this person has been close to my family for years.  It does not surprise me at all, but it really hurt my feelings.  I asked the principal if I could print off the benefits of yoga for kids and send them home with the kids and she suggested I just drop it.  Which I did and I did bring 'streching' back into gym class.  It still upsets me though. What kind of person comes in to a school to complain about a volunteer?

In November I started tournaments for 2nd and 3rd grades, 4th and 5th grades, 6th grade, and 7th and 8th grades.  I wrote everyone's names down and drew them randomly.  The older kids have really enjoyed the basketball season, we will have a tournament after each team play each other once.  I mostly just let the Kindergartners and 1st graders run around and try to shoot the ball and dribble as much as possible.  They seem to enjoy it and it's pretty easy for me :)

** it's been a while **

Oh my, this is like my diary, I swear I am going to write, then never do.  So much has happened since the last time I blogged .. in MAY!

My dad is still not doing so hot, he went to IU med center for an MRA this past weekend.  We don't know anything yet.  He wrote a short story about his life over the past 4 years and how much I, personally, have been there for him.  It meant a lot to me.  He also mentioned that had he known what it would be like now he would have taken his grandpa's shot gun out to the woods years ago and ended it.  Something that no kid should have to hear, but it's how he feels.

My mom is still struggling with her parents passing away.  In January it will be 5 years for my grandma and in February it will be 2 years for my grandpa.  I can't imagine how she feels or what she goes through, but I feel like she takes a lot of it out on us.

Jason and I have been 'talking' about getting engaged for months now.  We started dating in January of 2008.  I knew then that I would marry him.  We broke up twice and both times I felt like we would get back together and here we are.  Both break ups were dumb, but lasted about 3 months.  We had our space, figured out our issues on our own and got back together.  We have lived together since April.  Now he's saying that we need to stay together for at least a year before we get engaged.  My whole thing is, don't tell a girl you want to get engaged then keep putting it off.  I know I should just put it out of my mind, but I can't.

I am full time student, I bartend at 2 restaurants, I clean a house, I volunteer to teach gym for K-8 grade at my brothers school, because they can't afford one.  I am a sister, a daughter, a girlfriend and a mom to a dog :)
I am tired, I am sad, I sometimes think that I am depressed.
I just want to be happy.
Some days are better than others and some are not.

Sorry, I know this wasn't very upbeat, but I need to put it out there.
I could use some advice or a slap in the face :)