jason called me today and said, "kaiti just listen". so i listened . he got a call from his finance professor on his cell phone, at work . he knows a guy who needs interns for an actuary firm ? i don't even really know what it is . shocking .
anyways .. of course i am very excited and proud and i told him he'd be crazy not to take it . however .. when i texted him tonight from my job and asked if he wanted any food and he said no .. i was suspicious .. he seldom doesn't want food .. usually when he's with his friends . So i get off work and he says come to texas roadhouse we are celebrating . i didn't want to go .. because their waitress is one of his old friends who he was just talking to his buddy about last week .. about how hot she is . AND last time we were there she thought i was someones 12 year old sister .. needless to say i am not a big fan .. but i went .. to celebrate .
i got home first and went straight to take a bath .. with a bottle of wine . i am by no means looking forward to this . the summer is the ONLY time we get to spend together .. this is what i've been looking forward to .. for a while . of course he doesn't understand .. this is huge . he's excited i should be too .. why can't i be excited ? why do i have to think about all the time we won't get to spend together ? why do i think that this is just another sign .. as to why this won't work out . why . why . why . as soon as things get good .. something else comes up .. should we not be together ? am i pushing something that isn't there ?
every time we are apart i miss him like crazy . even if we don't talk for 2 months . from the moment i met him i've felt like he was "the one" nothing can keep us apart .. and i feel like if we sort through all this bull shit now .. it will just make for an amazing future .. am i completely wrong ?
any advice at this pint in time would be fabulous .
3 comments:
hey girlie.. YOU SOUND LIKE ME. i always think into things like you are right now. we're girls, we think about the future.. we want set out plans and we want to follow them. guys are different. they go with the flow. ask him how he feels about it. let him know that you're proud of him, but let him know also that you're worried and tell him why. i am telling you, it will feel so much better just to get it off your chest and have him reassure you OR disagree with you. you have to follow your gut instincts. you're asking yourself if it's meant to be... but then you're feeling like he's the one. so what i suggest is go to him tonight before you go to bed, and talk it out. then sleep on it. you have to follow your heart - sometimes our hearts are kind of quiet though!
you have a reason to be sad... and i know how it feels to have things be good and then something new come up to ruin it all. it all depends on how you guys work things out, in my opinion. let me know how things go.. i'd love to help you if i can!! :)
~bri xoxo
I definitely agree with Bri. As girls, we tend to over think things. You can be happy for him, and sad at the same time. That's okay. I think what you're feeling is completely natural. But definitely talk to him. Guys don't understand things unless you tell them *exactly* what you mean. If he's "the one" it will all work out. Be strong, it's going to be okay. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
- Marissa
and p.s. screw the texas roadhouse girl!!! haha
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